Marriage

5 useful tips to help you recover from a divorce

When we get married, we don’t exactly set up to get divorced. Quite the opposite in fact, we actually want our marriage to succeed. Sadly, separation is often an unavoidable consequence of a relationship that has taken a turn for the worse. Sometimes it is best to cut our losses and move on. Whether a divorce is amicable or more of an ordeal, it still leaves us alone to pick up the pieces and move forwards with our lives. It’s not a great place to be, but there are things we can do to kick-start our lives again and make it better. Today we take a look at 5 things you can do to recover from your divorce.

Tip#1 – Give yourself time to mourn

This first tip is very important, and it is one that you should take the time to do. We’re talking about letting yourself go through the motion. Be sad, take time to mourn your past relationship. A lot of people try to avoid doing this, deciding instead to stay busy and put their emotions on the back seat. The issue is that those emotions will eventually come back to bite you.

Facing the truth as it is might make you sad for a period of time, but it is something that you should really allow yourself to go through. Deal with your emotions head-on, and don’t feel ashamed to be sad. It is a totally natural reaction, and eventually you will stop dwelling on your unhappiness. It will then make moving on easier.

Tip#2 – Try casual dating

They say that you must get back on that horse after a fall, but going back into a full relationship straight away might not be the ideal method. Let’s face it, you need some time to rebuild, but that doesn’t mean you have to stay alone all that time neither. There is nothing wrong with getting a bit of casual company, and using a dating site like localshags.com might just be what you need.

It sounds silly, but casual encounters are a great way to get back into the game, without having to deal with all the responsibilities that come with full-on relationships. You get to have fun, and this will take away some of the resentment you might have accumulated towards the other gender. Having fun is not only enjoyable, but it makes people realise that the grass is always greener, leaving room for new potential relationships in the future.

Tip#3 – Return to your favourite hobbies

Living the coupled life can be a very time-consuming endeavour, and this is why a lot of people tend to put some of their hobbies on the side once they get hitched. Since you are back to being single, why not take the time to return to doing the things you enjoy? It could be that you are into music, building things, or even sports… the list can go on.

No relationship should make you completely quit those hobbies you enjoy so much, but it is often the case that you have to prioritise how you spend your time. Since being divorced can mean some of that time frees up, you might as well make the most of it. That way you get back into doing things you love, which will help to re-build your sense of individuality. Furthermore, it will serve you as a distraction from mourning the loss of your relationship for too long.

Tip#4 – Get some ‘me-time’

Some ‘me-time’ is essential, especially after a divorce. What do we mean by that? It’s simple really; just go out, have fun. Take a holiday, spend some time pampering yourself, enjoy a bit of shopping… Basically do all those things you couldn’t quite do anymore when you were in a relationship.

Let’s face it, you’re single again, so you’ve mainly got yourself to look after. Off course that might not be true for everyone; you might still have kids to look after. But even in that case, you could consider sending them on a little holiday with their grandparents, just so you can get that time alone to resource yourself.

Tip#5 – Make a plan

Ultimately, being divorced doesn’t take you away from certain responsibilities. You will probably still have to visit your ex occasionally, and as we said before, the kids still need to be looked after. So while it is good that you take a break from it all, it is more important that you build up a plan of action for the future to come.

Don’t keep it all in your head, as it can get pretty crowded in there during and after a divorce. Instead, write everything down on a piece of paper or even a word document. This might sound a bit strange, but writing things is a great way to create some spare space in your head, and you will need all the space you can get. Once you’ve written down your plan of action, you will feel relieved and it will help you to move forwards.

Extra tip: learn from the mistakes that happened

To conclude this article, we would like to leave you with a final tip. That is that you should look back at what happened, what caused your divorce and learn from it. We all make mistakes, sometimes it is our fault and sometimes it is the other person’s fault. But what we can do is to learn from it to make sure we don’t repeat the same mistakes again.

Analysing the situation, looking at it critically will give you a sense of distance, a bit like observing the situation from a third perspective. Look at the start, look at the signs that things were going wrong, and learn from it all. They say a wise person learns from their own mistakes, and this is definitely true about divorce.

Your knowledge will empower you, and you will most likely think twice before repeating the same errors. Altogether, this could bring you a peace of mind that will help you not only recover from your divorce, but also make you will feel confident that it will not happen again. This will be far better than living in the fear of a divorce happening again in the future. Stay prepared, and you will stay safe!

About the author

Robert S. Chancellor

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